My Home Has Grown by Two Feet!

I’ve been saving an announcement for some time and today’s the day I happily announce, my home has grown by two feet!

On November 8, 2017, I was officially licensed as a foster parent and on Friday, November 10, 2017, I said yes to the call and welcomed a baby girl into my home.

The idea of fostering and adoption has been on my heart for many years.  It was this past Mother’s Day Weekend 2017, that I decided to consider it more seriously.  I was driving my goddaughter to work on Mother’s Day and a commercial for becoming a foster parent came on the radio.  That same day, I went online to research foster parenting in my county and found that there was a free information session for potential foster parents coming up that month.  I decided to attend to get more information to decide whether to pursue it or not.  I’ll never forget the video they showed of the children living in congregate care.  All the high chairs were lined up like an assembly line for feeding time.  A bunch of cribs were in one room for when there are multiple babies in care.  I respect everyone working at Child Haven and in the Department of Family Services, but we can all agree that children deserve individualized care, structure and love and attention to best thrive, especially amidst difficult situations and unsteady environments.  Now I had information about the process, and I combined that information with the fact that I felt equipped with the right skills, experience and desire to care for a child in my home.  I also knew that providing a home full of support, for a child in transition, to give them a chance at having a better future, lined up with my value system.  For some time, I had been praying on the subject, feeling very much like perhaps this was a path the Lord had laid for me.  All of that considered, it took me less than 24 hours to know I was ready to move to the next step in becoming a foster parent.

It’s been six months of preparing my heart, my mind, and my home since then.  There were initial steps that included fingerprinting and a background check, completing a lengthy application and autobiography, then 10 weeks of preparatory classes, plus 2 home visits and preparing my home to meet the safety requirements. 

The classes were most valuable to me.  I quickly realized they were not only designed to teach us about foster terminology or parenting techniques, child development resources or typical foster scenarios. The classes were designed to make us reflect on our decision and truly evaluate whether we are ready for what lies ahead in providing foster care. While of course no class could fully prepare us for everything that might happen, I was grateful that a very real picture was being painted about the ups and downs of foster care.  The circumstances of why children need foster care are not pretty.  Neither are the behaviors that children may exhibit as a result.  Loving and caring for a child can come naturally but doing so within a “system” can add diverse challenges. 

More than 60% of our class dropped out and decided fostering wasn’t for them or it wasn’t the right time, for various reasons.  Although I never got to the point where I considered dropping out, there were several occasions where I was seriously evaluating my readiness.  Whenever I felt anxious though, I can say, there were three things that helped me get through my fears and nerves.  I called upon these three things often.

Straighten My Thinking

I was worrying about how hard it would be for me as a foster parent, then a particular article reminded me that my thinking was backwards because instead, I should be thinking first of how hard life is for the children who need foster care.  As an adult, with resources available to me, I can cope with the hard times.  These children deserve a fighting chance and I know I can give it, by putting them first before myself.

Step Out in Faith

I read this in several blogs from foster or adoptive parents, encouraging us to be faithful, especially when things feel uncertain or scary.   I know God is good and I have faith that He will bring me through whatever He brings me to, as He always has.  I remember one particular week, I was thinking of all the sacrifices involved in becoming a foster parent.  I went to mass that Sunday and the very timely Homily asked us to consider how much we would sacrifice to do God’s will.  Father asked us to search deep within ourselves, remembering what had been sacrificed for us, and that really spoke to me and kept me going.  I could make sacrifices for this process, and for the children who need me.

Speak with Those Who Went Before Me

Hearing from others who have been, or are, foster parents inspired me.  They all told me their very real experiences of foster care.  Some were sad, others unbelievable, some emotionally draining, yet every single one ended the same:  foster parenting is rewarding.  For every difficult experience, there was an even more rewarding experience they shared.  All of them gave me sound advice and shared remarkable stories.  Several people I know have added to their forever families when fostering led to adoption. Their stories give me hope and I am indebted to them for sharing them.  (Thank you, Kimi, Hunter, Marlene, Tracie and Susan for sharing your stories and advice.)

As the days drew closer to me becoming licensed, I felt more and more ready to become a foster parent.  There are still many uncertain things in this process, but one thing is for sure, a baby girl has already stolen my heart.  She reminds me that children are amazing, fascinating, and resilient.  Now that I am a foster parent, I can truly feel the immeasurable importance of why fostering exists and why the world needs more people to answer the call to foster.  I feel blessed I can be in this little one’s life the way she needs right now.  I do not know what tomorrow holds for her, nor for us.  I’m taking each day one at a time, but as she lay here sleeping, I already know without a doubt that my love is hers even if she may be with me only for a short time.

I’ve opened a new page on the blog called “Foster Footprints” which will link to all blog posts about this subject and about my experiences as the foster children who come into my life leave footprints all over my heart.  I hope it can be helpful to anyone considering becoming a foster parent, or for those who are already fostering and would like to build a bigger support network. 

This is Foster Care, and this is my journey.

If you’re thinking about becoming a foster parent, I encourage you to find out more.  Click here to find out about it in Clark County, Nevada including the schedule for the free informational session.  I'm sure a Google search will lead to the same type of information in other locations too.